one year ago today...i farted.

Sunday, November 01, 2009

i'm starting to notice that alot of my writings start with "one year ago today..." "one month ago today..." "this time last year..."

hmmm. i guess i'm sentimental. i'm only this way on paper. lastnight, as my husband and i drove home from apartment shopping in Indy, we stopped at an arbys to eat. by the way my husband got the large beef and cheddar sandwich and i think the guy at the next table was a little jealous of all that meat. good buy.

meat talk aside. i farted and burped without shame. i love going to other towns and being crude in a public place. it's freeing. you should try it. that will be fun to do more often because everyone will be a stranger to me in Indy.

one year ago today was our first date. and it also commenced a week of him calling me daily and me not answering or returning. and yes. this guy really married me. i should be at the bottom of a rumpke dumpster for that, but as he knows, it was a bad week for me, and meeting someone that was quite a decent hardworking intelligent handsome man who actually WANTED to spend his time with me, seemed to be a little frightening.

quit your job, not pay your child support, and whine more than my children and i'd probably call you back. sad but true.

i think about those days of falling in love alot. it wasn't like i thought it would be. it was a whole hell of alot easier. i've dated. alot. and i've cared very deeply for people, but as i found out, love isn't supposed to be hard. it's WORK yes. but not hard work.

we both have ALOT of flaws. and we are not afraid to admit them to eachother. i know if he's being an ass, and i tell him, he'll still love me, and get over his mood. and i pretty much keep my fat trap shut when i'm in an ass mood because i don't take well to being told i'm being an ass.

our first date still cracks us up when we look back. ok guys, he INTENTIONALLY wore his oldest baggiest clothes. i firmly believed he got me to fall in love with his personality first, then let me in on the appearance goods by the 2nd date. by the time our 3rd date came, i had 3 bouquets of flowers to my name. i think i got that the entire 9 years i was married to bachelor #1.

every single fucking day i wake up and smell him in the house even though he's long gone by the time my 6 am alarm goes off. i smell his pillow and i feel his presence. i feel his hands guide me throughout my day as they do in the evenings whn we go out and he keeps his arm protectively around me.

if i'm in a ponytail and no makeup mood. he says its my natural beauty look. if i'm all decked out, i'm smokin.

i don't even remember having a bad idea because he finds the good in everything i say. i regret not one second we have spent together, and each day, if it's possible, i think i love him more.

he took me into his heart one day last november and not only me, but my 3 kids. he knows he is not their dad but he loves them like he is. and they know it. they know he'd do anything for them as he would his own child. we have 4 daughters in our home.

i came home a few months ago, and said i wanted to go to college. he didn't ask how i would get that done, he didn't condescend he didn't laugh. he smiled and said that was awesome and asked what i was going to study. when i made my announcement he smiled and said that would be so awesome, to both be first responders and that was that.

i never ever have to explain myself. i never ever have to PROVE myself. all i have to do is BE myself.

happy first year honey. i know we're the couple people hate, the mooshy gooshiest, the fartiest smelliest, we do shit no one understands, we make jokes that seem so stupid and we quote sex and the city and jeff dunham more than we come up with original thoughts. i don't regret a single second from my previous life because it shaped me into the woman you love to love, and i love the way you love me.

plain and simple...i love you. and i just realized i better come up with some heavy duty mooshy shit by our wedding anniversary.

ps thankyou for the limegreen roses. only us.