Dear Chandler Rose...

You turned 8 last weekend. 7 days ago today actually.

I've been searching for over a week for the right words to say to express how this has made me feel.

I'm still quite unsuccessful.

I think what would best describe how amazing you are, is that I can write this entire entry and you will "get" every word I say. You are quite the child. Plain and simple, you amaze all of us who get the privledge of raising you.

I think what has amazed me lately is how you take no crap off of anyone. You are such a sweet timid little girl but you have learned that does not make you worth getting picked on.

I love that you give everyone the benefit of the doubt, but if they screw up, you let them know.

I love how you love learning and how you look at me and quizzically ask me if it's this easy for everyone. I don't think you know how to fail. I hope that drive to succeed follows you into adulthood.

You remind me so much of myself when I was a child. Which is ironic because your daddy says the same thing about himself! I hope that as you journey into your life you keep your tender heart, but do not let it scare you away from the world. I let the world scare me to death and here I am, trying to conquer it when I'm 32. I know you. You will just keep being you without fear of anything because you are just dingy enough to float through your way and no other way.

I knew the instant they placed you in my arms you were a very unique little person. I worried my entire pregnancy that I couldn't love a 2nd baby the way I loved my first. Wow. I couldn't have been more wrong. They put me in your arms and I saw the most intensely deep wise little girl.

The day you were born was quite a special day. In that I woke up not know you were going to be born that day. I woke up at 8 am when daddy got home from work, and i Had no idea that I was in labor. I know, that sounds dumb, but I was havinga gallbladder attack and I couldn't tell what pain was what. 12 hours later your daddy was flying down the highway doing 80 miles an hour while I screamed.

We had your in a panic, not knowing if you were going to be born breating, if you would live, if I would live. You came into this world that cold January night screaming, healthy, and ready to live.

2 weeks after you were born, I had that brush with death I felt was coming. That day as I lay dying, you laid with those bright eyes, looking at me like you knew. You cried very little as mommy couldn't hold you.

I believe you've been grateful for life since you came so close to not getting that chance.

You have lived life even though it's tossed you a few curveballs. You just keep rolling with the punches. You amaze me because you know when times are tough. But yet you keep moving ahead. Sometimes you break and need us to catch you, and we all are happy to do so. There have been quite a few bumps in the road for you, but you never complain.

From the minute you were born, daddy and I knew you would be a middle child. We have always tried to give you plenty of attention to counteract the middle child syndrome. As it happens, you are sandwiched in between 2 pretty loud mouthed sisters but you manage to make your opinion known in a quieter way.

Everyone who knows you remarks on your personality. And here lately, that personality is blooming at lightening speed. Everyone who knows you knows they are lucky to get to know you. Because you don't just care about just anyone. You are polite but you hold your deep feelings for those who have earned it. I think thats what makes it that special when you care about someone.

Make no mistake Miss Chandler, you are a light in our lives. You forever live in Arielle's shadow, your birthday is 9 days after Christmas, heck Trinity's birthday is a month after yours! You seem to be stuck in that awkward spot in life where you just get crammed in wherever you fit, but you do so with such style, with grace, with a happy heart. You are thankful for life, thankful for everyone in your life, and thankful for the freedoms in your life.

I hope you know you are always safe with Rodney and me, and Daddy and BJ. You are safe to live, to love life, to learn, and to grow. We will protect you and your gentle heart forever and a day. You make us all proud. Thankyou for being you and for giving me even more life when I came so close to losing mine.